This is why I quit – and why you should never, ever start – being a cocktail waitress (unless you foresee a future in serial killing for yourself): 1. Recently, I handed in my uniform and went home to make my own cocktail. I disliked being a cocktail waitress so much that I didn’t care what leaving immediately said about my character, nor did I care that I would be eating yogurt three meals a day for the next month. But none of the bad days at these jobs were so unbearable that I decided I would rather have quit than earn some cash. I’ve been a dishwasher, a hair salon receptionist, a secretary, a sales associate at Express, a bar back, and the girl at the catering job who served the hot dogs. I’ve never met an entry-level job I disliked so much that I had to quit.